daidai life's story

2006-12-13T23:37:00.000+08:00

Have u ever wonder how it will be like if u carn see.
To me to worse situation is in the dark when i can only used my instinct to feel.
It is so insecure and scary.
Well today my grandma had been diagnose with permenant blindness of the right eye and it may spread to the left one.
Although i know its none of my fault but somehow i still ask myself is this because she din eat the fish she give it to me when i childishly wasted or is it because she always has to sew the little holes on my clothes when i ws young.
If possible i would rather be the one who is blind but there is no way to be true.
What can i do now.
They say its in the genes that our right eye is poorer.
It really doesnt bother me.
i know i can survive being unable to see.
Afterall i had been adapting to living in darkness.
So why must it always be the oldest person.
For once she seems no longer to multi-solver i have once know.
She is so weak.
Oh please tell me this is only a dreamt.....

2006-12-10T09:17:00.000+08:00

I think it had been a long long time since i last blogged.
Not because that i am lazy or what just that i think who will even care to stop and look at how things are going on for me.

sadly things are totally different from what it always had been.
people get together
people seperate
so funny how we used to swear about things ahd after years it is just a comment

in the 7 days not in singapore i learnt a lot from people younger than me.
seeing those children telling each other we must meet up after ... i think i saw myself.
at that moment i wondered will this promise still be stick after 10, 20 or 50 years
well no one will know

2006-07-16T16:46:00.000+08:00

i am sick of everything!!!!
i hate everything.
and its very tiring to hate.

please i want to get away.

2006-06-15T22:23:00.000+08:00

Friends what are they for?
Are they someone who can share your happy moments?
Are they someone who run away whenever you have problems to share?
Are they the ones who will avoid your calls?

Somehow i am tired of trying to define what exactly does this simple words means.

After so many years, my bestest friend told me that she become less willing to tell what's on her mind and feels that she should not call when she's in need.

I think i am lousy to have her to say that.

Things changes so does people.
But i rather they stay where they are and not change at all.
To me change means lossing.
May be i am just being to selfish.

Anyway tomorrow will be a very very nice days.
week days are coming over to my house for a day!!
i really missed them:(

2006-06-07T15:57:00.000+08:00

somtimes i wonder why i so forgetful.
today then i realised that i lost something ver impt!!!
but i know it can never be found again:(

anyway i filp through my primary school autograph book.
the sad part is none of the people that once said friends forever had manage to stay in contact after all these years.
what exactly is the meaning of this word then? i think many of times we used this as a polite and standard word to address to people.
on the other hand it is always so heart warming to how how my aunt had manage to keep her friendship for over 30yrs.
she is an example i will follow closely.

here is a little story...

porcupine has spikes on their body.
however when they are cold they need to huddle together to provide heat for each other.
this will cause him to hurt each other.
then they will move away from each other.
coldness drive them back together.
while pain pull them apart.
in this manner they move away and come closer,
unitl they find a comfortable position
where they don't hurt each other and are able to keep warm.

this apply to relationship between people.
no matter how close two person are, they need to have a small distance where they will not hurt each other. it is amazing how this small distant between people can make a relationship last.

so have you found the suitable position where you should stand?

these fews days have been studying. time really pass very fast its 148 days to another A levels.
this time round no more regrets no more sorrys.
i promise myself thyis will be the last chance.

the suitable distant

2006-06-01T21:20:00.000+08:00

busy

2006-06-01T21:01:00.000+08:00

i think its the first english word i hated most.
it have been the only excuse my parents gave for not being present on my first PTI, my first performance etc.
for over 18 yrs i have been thinking that this is the big word used by adults.
but i was wrong.
more and more of my friends are begining to use this word.
not that i dont understand.
just that i feel like another part of me is being left alone again.
may be i am over dependent on them.
afterall who will understand how it feels to be in a room of walls with only radio as the only factor to determine that i am still in this world.
fews days ago i was overjoyed that holidays finally came.
however it took only a few days that i realised this holiday will not be as interesting as the previous one.
firstly i have to go visit the chinese sin seh for 20 consecutive days,
then i am not going overseas,
lastly all my friends are busy with their own life.
thinking back i am really very useless,
everyone seems to live their life so fully but the only friend i have now is textbooks, tys and my house.

whatever it is i will just continue to live my life. afterall it had been 7 yrs since i learnt to live on my own now i will just to adapt back to those kind of life.

so dear friends, dont feel sorry to me, i know you all have your own busy life to carry on.
you all have been around with me to provide enough strength and support. thanks for that. now i will only have to walk alone. i know can do it and i have to.

2006-05-26T22:35:00.000+08:00

it have been a very very long time since my last post i guess.
everything is begining to be back to normal now.
now when i finally get adapted back to sch its holiday again.

sometimes life is really very amazing.
the day when one man passed away, is the same day which his niece give birth to a baby.
i guess this is how our population is sustain one go and one come.

things may not be so simple as what we always thing.
but when life is already so complicated why must some people make it worse.

2006-03-11T14:23:00.000+08:00

things have not been running well this few weeks.
and i have to start avoiding problems again.

i guess the scolding for him is right.
i have been too weak to accept the fact that i have failed again and that i have to still move on instead on staying at the same spot turning round and round.

but i am too tired to thing of anything.
i hate it!!!
i dont understand why everyone is pushing me to do things.

is getting a good grade really everything.

i have so many things to say but i dont want to bother anyone with these stupid things.

please tell me i am only dreaming!!!

Beautiful sunday :)

2006-02-12T15:38:00.000+08:00

i love today.
the weather is so nice.
the air is so clean.
the wind is blowing at the right speed.
it's a perfect day to stay at home and enjoy everything alone:)

haha. it had been a very very long time ever since i last updated.
life is still the same.
but no more draggin myself out of the bed early in the moring and put on the apple green uniform. when this habit become a history. i start to enjoy the olden days. human nature to not cherish the present.

3 months after the big A. i have live through in not the most ideal way which i have plan during the stressful days.

i found a job but now half of the time i am working. the sad part of it is that i begin to grow sick of it:P

i think i will quit after the project ends. haha. then i will start accomplishing all the little task which i wanted to do and clear my wish list before i get my result.

i need a break away from this busy city. haha. they are right i only know to run away. but that's me i am not so strong to handle things well.

i baked cookies today!!!
haha. the best part is i fall asleep while i need to wait for the cookies to be bake.
luckily chun called. if not she will be eating black cookies.

its the last day of lunar new year. bet the moon today will be nice.
7 days more to 19. so fast 3 years had past. but everything still seems like y'day.
the only strand of evidence to show that time have passed so fast is my looking at the faces of the adults. its so sad to see how my aunts,ahma n mum used to chase at me to do homework and to cane me. now keep grumbling about how their leg aches. but no matter what they will still be loved my me:)

okie i shall end here. going for another nap!!
yipee!!!

one day after the "big crash"

2005-10-23T20:23:00.000+08:00

it's my cousin's 21st b'dae y'dae. yup i should congrats him for his big day. having all his friends and relatives around, getting into his dream university course, having a car, finding himself a girlfriend. life is just perfect for him i guess. frankly speaking i am very happy for him although i hardly talk to him.
but looking at my cousin aka my gor also 21 this year who i was very close to, his b'dae celebration was small one with relatives the other with friends. same age different people different life. my gor is not as perfect, he is still in poly haven been in ns, gotten a license no car. to me he is the most sucessful person. i guess i am being baised.

anyway back to my main point, i am surprised at how people can be so fake.
ever since young they had always like to compared me with their children not because i am clever is because it will make them feel contempted. i admit that i didn't inherit any smart genes from them but does this means that i am really that lousy? people can just study last min and end up in top schools and me studied so hard and end up? not that i am feeling any inferior. i am far too happy with my "idiotness","stupidnees","retardaness". so please dun shed any crocodie tears. i dun need it. thx.

is 16 more days to As i am fully demoralised by them. part of me wants to work hard to prove them wrong, but another part is telling me that study hard will just led you to another failure. what shoul i do?

never say die!!!

Graduation

2005-10-13T14:12:00.000+08:00

very very bored how. haha.
anyway the previous weeks are packed with big events of week days. and the next one is coming soon next wed. haha.
okie tnl is my graduation day. wow sounds like i have completed my education liao right. sadly it just sybomlised i have to work extremely hard for the coming As.
mind was filled with many things, happy, sad, disappointed, excited and many more. From the first day i step into this school until now i know that i had never failed to compliant how i dislike this school. however now i suddenly feels that it isnt bad afterall. time will past but i know memories will be there forever.

i will always remember the greeny of this school which i think is what make us soo very special. of course my dear classmates which i had for 2yrs they are really great no doubt many times our class seem very unenthu towards many school events. haha.
but we did it for the track and field and also dragonboat race.
erm though in the end we didn't got back anything but i m sure is the spirit the counts. of course not to mention
our ct ms chua who is soo sweet to us and beliving in us;
mdm twu who is always so leinent towards us despite many rules we had break.
there is also our maths tutor mrs sze who had left us after teaching for 1 yr
taking over my mdm lim so is so _________
i also duno how to descibe, well she is caring to the class.
mr toh our bio tutor who is now the vp,
his monotonous voice which never fails to make me sleepy,
of course taking over him is our greatest ms chua.
she is reaally patient towards us and frankly speaking my bio did improve despite i still failed. lolz.
not to forget mr tan our chem tutor aka ah lek which we like to call him.
he is so knowledgable always saying those impressing things which never fail to make me "wow"
last but not least is our gp tutor mr john lim aka ah hock.
he is indeed very nice to the class and he is treat us for movie.

many many things i would like to say many many gratitude i would like to express to my friends n tutors n of course the lectures, they are the best!!!

2005-08-31T08:29:00.000+08:00

thinking of what i gain in life, besides money there are many ohter things.
we come to this world with empty mind n empty hands,
as we grow we gain knowledge,
we make friends which later become very close with you.
we loss things too.
but come to think of it what we gain actually exceeds what we loss.

todae is a fantastic day, while everyone's waking up earily to go for school
i am able to sleep in my bed.
haha.
its teachers' day celebration.
still remember how bad mr tan treated us last year.
but he is cute though.

when i was just a little girl,
i asked my mother what will i be,
will i be pretty,
will i be rich,
here's what she said to me...

que sarah sarah whatever will be will be...

sunday

2005-08-14T18:46:00.000+08:00

another wk has paseed.
well i guess its really time for me to work on my english.
failing english really take me to nowhere.
influenza virus got into me on y'dae.
but i think my body will be able to fight through.
life is still as normal as before.
somtimes i wonder whether live simple is good or it just means that i am left out in the world circle?
anyway, whatever will be will be, the future is not us to see.
friday, i am coming!!!

2005-08-08T19:56:00.000+08:00

i love national day. firstly it marks our nation b'dae but most imptly it is a public holiday plus one day sch holiday.

after much thoughts i think i cnt depress anymore but to pluck up courage n move on. it is tough i noe may be i may have a feelin of givin up along the way but i cnt affort to afterall my bet is my future. like it or not i cnt affort to make any mistake. once pain is enough. n since i n slow n stupid i muz take one step at a time.

andy lau's voice is veri nice. he is de first male singer who touches my heart.

from now on i muz keep my mouth shut to prevent words from leakin out.

2005-08-05T18:17:00.000+08:00

i carn stand le.
ya its my fault tt i flung everything.
does tt mean i ll fail forever.
but every cher was sendin a singnal tt
'amanda dun bother to try u wont succeed anyway'
i m lousy i agree carn even read bio graph n copy ans oso can take soo long.
i understand tt mdm lim is rite abt memorisin is wrong but how can i possibly read formula n understand?
y like tt?
y everything gone so wrong?
y m i always the trouble maker?
jia is rite is me who cause her n jen to get such lousy result.
afterall i m nthing but juz a irritatin pest!!!

i hate my dad he can hook on my com for playin de stupid game n when i start to use. he actually called my mum n complaint sayin tt i shouted at him when all i SAID was juz a sentence.

2005-07-31T07:18:00.000+08:00

finally gt back to my hse.
life was juz so mechanics now a days.
fixed with a set of formula.
daily routine, sch, home, slp.

in exactly 100days time i ll be sittin in the exam rm.
carn imagine 2yrs had past so fast.

had a lot of first time here.
first time skippin lessons
first time not goin to sch
first time hiddin in toliet to cry
first time stayin in sch til 9
first time walkin off durin lecture
first time pple sayin me look dao
first time study still can fail
first time not goin for cca
first time runnin durin sports event
first time dislike people to core
first time feelin stress when studyin
first time donatin blood
first time feelin so lost
first time lossin the fate to live
n tt are more...

2yrs le, though i always grumble but acutally many things did happen.

2005-07-15T22:02:00.000+08:00

gt back my ct resukt todea. 2Fs n 2Os.
ya is veri bad i noe.
its time to study....

2005-07-04T01:02:00.000+08:00

haha. i guess I have to grumble a bit. my comb is lost. well my mum was rite lately I m rather grumby(do dey vet is kind of word). anyway allow me to be weird for a while.
n I noe sumthing pple in not=comb. So I wont be sad abt it le la. But afterall it is sumthing which had been wif me so long. Ha.
lets tok abt last wk. 1st wk of sch. CT for 3days n 2days rest. Sounds cool rite. Haha. ya have a bad feelin tt I ll flung everything. But nvm la. Mind oso cnt do anything le. Muz xiang qian kan. Now c c I almost went to jia’s hse everyday. Ai ya pai she la I no place to go. Den go home oso veri sian. Anyway we so friend ur hse oso can be my 2nd hse le rite. Fri was gd gt to c my best best best friend chun. Long time nv c her le. Den oso met her onli friend in tp. Haha. u r rite ger de penguin card rrly reminds me of u. n u rrly touched me. Thx. sam n xin I rrly rrly miss dem due to the distance of their sch n their busy time I like gt 1mth nv hear from dem le. went to repair my watch n shop tm wif jia. It had been a long time since we last went shoppin together. We were like crazy women tok n laugh like nobody business like tt. Den the stupidest thing is to eat durain outside mrt station. Lolx. But I was fun la.
Die le now is already 1 n I carn get to slp. I guess there r 2person I nid to get over now. N I tryin my best to. There is still a long way to my exam n I nid concentration.
In 2 wks time my home ll be under renovation. Tis means I ll ve no place to stay. actually no la juz tt cnt be at home.
Haha. I muz start a new life from tml on liao. If continue like tt now can quit sch liao. Muz study le no more slack. If nt next yr muz stay in yr2 den dun noe to call myself yr2 or yr3 le.
Muz say sumthing I veri proud of I m stronger now le. Able to hold back my tears. Haha. n I noe I ll grow up de. Now still a bit childish. So at the meantime those around me pls bear wif it la. Keke.

free

2005-06-25T10:24:00.000+08:00

had a wonderful rest.
but i still miss many things here...
friends(they shld noe la)
food(the food der veri diff from here)
freedom(can run abt here)
bed

anyway the trip was fun juz tt everydae is rainin day.
guess wat pple actulli say my complexion is gd. haha.
i love the sea n river der.
the mountain oso veri veri chio can see clouds in between.
the graveyard oso veri high-tech like hse like tt.

haha. i guess i m charged fully for the busy n stressful term.
sooo fast a level is like so near liao.

1 more day n can c jia n jen le.
rrly miss them.
lalala.
shall end here goin out le.

2005-06-07T18:08:00.000+08:00

completed my camp n chalet. haha.
time to start studyin.
so much work yet so little time.
how m i gonna survived?
guess compared to pple who r sufferrin from both physical n metal torture i m still lucky.

anyway playin ghost was a total success for me. hee.
every1 esp thos gers was like screamin like mad.
but the result for exco a bit disappointed.
de guy which i expect to be president become vice instead.
he is a 100% mr nice guy.

chalet was a success too wif my perfect partner huili. haha.
but hor jen nid go back early den jia oso cum so late.

okie nid to get of to work le.

Jun is here!!

2005-05-30T09:15:00.000+08:00

the long awaited holiday is here. haha.
goin for camp later i shall name tis camp as 3days 2nights xiao yao you(ai yo dun noe how to say in eng).
tis ll be the 5th camp in my life.
although camp=no slp but its okay la for experience.
i have wanted the camp in those campsite but nv have the chance. haha.
plus plus me n jie yin ll be actin as ghost at the dungeon.wheez. sounds fun.
later ll be goin for food fest a time to eat!!!
tis 4 wks of holidays ll be veri fun. haha. slp. play. n most imptly, study.

learnin to let go

2005-05-25T22:48:00.000+08:00

well there's sumthing i nid to believe now sumthings are rrly nt meant for me ever since the begining. may be i shld juz give up. sigh.

anyway heard a veri wonderful story todae...
there is this veri wealthy woman who is attempting to commit suicide near a river.
a fisherman pass thr n save her up.

he asked:"lady, wat make u so upset. don't u have any partner or children?"
cryin, the woman answered:"2yrs ago i have my husband n 1 son, but they left me now."
understanding the situation the fisherman asked her again:"wat happen 2yrs ago before ur marriage?"
"i led a carefree life, everything was perfect."
smiling, the fisherman repiled:"in tis case u shld live back ur life u have 2yrs ago when u haven go thr everything. be sturbbon n nt lettin go of things tt's nt meant for you onli make u more troubled."

i guess i ll juz try my best to let go. afterall the process is tough but the result is worth it. hee.

i went for my once a yr interact meetin todae. haha. nt tt bad la.
2more days to common test 1st paper...

lalala

2005-05-16T20:19:00.000+08:00

had a wonderful wk last wk.

completed both Chem n Bio SPA.
had my Nafa test n i passed wif a silver. hahahaha.
did blood donation without sheddin a drop of tears. so proud.(they actually throw my blood away last yr cos its too little. lolx.)
meet anuty chun for shoppin.
tok cock wif jia at nite.
gt to c my gang.

everything was soooo great.

get my CT scan result today. everything is okie. the doctor dun noe how to cure me liao den juz give me medicine n say i m discharge. yeah.

sigh, but den hor like still gt studies which still muz be continued. slack 3wks away liao. no motivation arh.

ah yi say she veri stress. but i guess every1 is the same jia oso like tt so is jen jen. well tis kind of thing i rrly dun noe how to help. no choice la we no longer kids le there is more n more things awaiting for us. hang on der we will make it de. continue to move dun stop. like 2.4 road ran like tt juz move n u ll complete it de:)

de xin ah say i always do dangerous things but she worse arh gt her toe injured. muz take care orh. sam sam leh still tt sweet how i wish can c all of them everydae.

growing

2005-05-04T16:46:00.000+08:00

actually i m nt suppose to be at home now:(

i shld be one of the pple goin for to istana to pay the last respect to our late president.juz bcause of my big mouth that i cause so many trouble. i do nid a whole box of plaster to stop myself from tokin.

is his birthdae todae n i guess i nv have a chance to tell him happi b'dae.
had a jab b4 my scan todae n find out tt i finally gt over the phobia of needles!!!

may be jen's is rite i m juz another immature kid who dun understand wat grow-ups do is always rite for me.ya i dun wan to be a burden to others but neither do i wan my life to be controlled my silly supersitious belief. afterall is me who have the final say in everything. sorri to all i m rrly a burden... i still rmb my bro used to tell me 'ger ah u better dun go out. u ll onli cause more trouble n i will nid to ran over to solve it for u arh. dun think i ll always be der for u n u can depent on me ah.' his is rite he is no longer here for me may be big mouth can be influential. lolz.

Sports

2005-05-03T20:56:00.000+08:00

shall keep it short my show is startin soon.
had practice for 12 by 100m ran todae.
i ran veri slow.
somehow i m nt those kind who are physically inclined.
sigh i think i will screw up everything on actual dae.
yeah gt my fact a shirt todae.
its a lot better than the previous one.

wispers of the soul are intuitive messages tt provide clear direction for our lives. they come to us in a variety of ways. sometimes they are obvious, while other times they are camouflaged. pple closet to us may nt hear it. even if they do they may not always agree wif it. yet each of us has to make our own decision. afterall fllow wat ur heart says n u ll nt regret...

a pair of angel's wings

2005-05-02T20:41:00.000+08:00

ai yo my language rrly so ailen meh how cum nobody understand.
nvm den. i will try to make my english better each time.
had a nice holiday.
besides the part which i was nt allow to go for trainin for next wk's competition. juz becos my dad dun wan to waste time goin hospital again. lolz.
but its okay afterall i did nt contribute much to the boat either besides my weight. haha.
yeah tis fri is track n field meet again. tis yr is veri special. our class 04S04 actually entered the final. lalala. i feel so proud of being in tis class. wheez. our class finally can bond together. except of the three boys who are always being alone. lolz.
sigh todae is mon...
4 more days to another wk end.
at the meantime i shall bear wif it.
lookin forwadr to fri n oso de new fact tee which design is soooo much better than the current one.
a nice story which i heard todae on a radio abt 2 little boys.
there was this boy who was playin in the playground.
he noticed another boy who had a huchback sitting at a corner playin alone.
so he went up to this boy n start self introdution.
tt boy did not answered him thinkin tt he is juz another kid who will make fun of his back.
for 10mins or so, the boy keep tokin non stop...
suddenly he paused n asked the hunchback boy one question.
"do you noe y ur back is hunch?"
that boy was stunned.
he had meet so many kids who had been mocking at him but none had ever asked him such question. he choose to remain silent.
"let me tell u y."
that innocent said proudly as if he is veri smart.
"the hunchback is storin a pair of angels wings which the angels in heaven have left for you so you can fly high..."

2005-04-27T20:39:00.000+08:00

finally it rains todae.
n i gt a nice coolin nap.
slpin make me complete.
i guess u had to agree wif my aunt
many things cnt ran away from it.
so leh i will move on.
but will be veri slow.
i begin to like snails now. ha

breathless

2005-04-25T20:28:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhh. i m breathless now!!!
somehow somewhat i m in a lost.
how to continue wif everything.
so weak n tired.
my head is hurting and it is.
wanting to cry out loud but tears juz dried up.
no more energy to move on.
if tml i can juz leave.
ll der be someone who ll at least miss my presence.
well no guess.
no1 ll ever noe if a small dust is present or not.
leaves parting from the tree,
izzit because of wind,
or izzit tt tree no longer need its presence.
as darkness fall in sky,
brightness is ago.
my heart fells apart.
who m i.
m i real.
m i true.
m i living.
where m i.
fovever ll cum to end someday.
nthing is meant for anything.
i nid a pair of wings.
no more eyes,
no more ears,
no more feeling,
i juz fly,
for freedom,
for dreams.

long long ago...

2005-03-27T23:07:00.000+08:00

long long time ago we were in a neverland all we know is laughing and smiling. little did we know or realise about the big p we will going to be facing. slowly, many burden begin to fell upon us. we have to grow to face these responsibility. it may be tough but we juz have to face it. cnt ran away.but only think of solution to cope. in every stage we will first feel unstable be as we get use to it we will learn and be strong. around the world many pple are living in similiar manner. but somehow life is not so simple. pple are fighting for rights for freedom for their own desire. one day when we are ready to face the reality, these will be the facts we need to face and overcome. no longer will we be the same navie us. it all this really going to affect us. afterall it is us who have the power to control to the surrounding. ha, many of times things are easier said than done. just like when someone said to forget another person it is tougher than just leave it alone. a story begin in every birth and end with every death. will happyily ever after really happen in our life, well may be there is but we don't know. things just happen without notice without practice face with no fear, fell just stand up. rmb yuo are not alone, somehow there will be someone watching after you to ensure that you will go through everything. emotion will be the direction for you. follow it and learn from mistakes. none of us will always be smooth. we just need to keep moving and this is the story of life and it will go on...

a process of growing up...

2005-03-02T15:42:00.000+08:00

well sometimes when you feel that you are lost, you just need to stay where you are and think about what's the main point of living. i have learnt sumthing new todae. everyone of us have a special features which onli u posses. some of the pple you met will accept ur special ability while others reject it. it is nt up to us to decide who will accept us n who will reject us but rather it is up to the peron themselves. none of us is perfect. we carn expect others to be perfect too. the most abled pple are nt those who are able to choose between who they like or nt like. it is those who are able to accpect anyone n everyone as what they are who are the greatest. you cnt make all the people you met to expect you but you can try to expect those you met. you are great in whateva way you are. not be sad if you are being left out or being left alone. someday one day there will be someone who cherish you and find happiest in your smile n happiest. if you are like me who had already sieve off some pple in your life. think back, around the world there are billions of pple n you are able to meet these pple. they may not make a big differnce in your life but they step into your life leaving footsteps. learn to be more broad minded n accept all those who entered. if nt one day when you regret its too late. tml start all over again. dun let precious things pass you by. hold them like you are holdin a handful of sand nt too tight as it will slip through instead hold it with a gentle grip...

Wat Shld I Do??

2005-03-01T16:57:00.000+08:00

haha finally had time to be here again. life have been veri tight up wif tests lately. everyday passed so fast. gd? bad? carn wait for my mar holidays which ll be cumin in 1wks time. quite sad sumtimes to c everyone havin sumthing to be busy abt. nt tt i m so free juz tt it seems tt i m gd for nthin. ha. if ever given a chance ll i rather be busy or remain free as now. i guess being busy is called life. at least u r living it to the fullest. but on the hand, u may be so stressed up with loads n loads of sch work. wat m i tokin? haha.
honestly speaking, i dun rrly feel right now. the feeling is like sumthing had gone missing near me. juz feel veri veri wrong...

A Leap Of Love

2005-01-17T01:05:00.000+08:00

"There is a place i want to go, but i don't know where
There is someone i want to meet, but i don't know who."

got tis from a bk. sch have started 2 wks ago. i juz have to say that i m in a total lost of direction. everything look so different to me. de feelin is so different. sumtimes it even make me wonder if i m really alive. i begin to loss sumthing which i dont noe what is it. thinkin abt it onli make me worse. even when i see my pri sch best friend i carn even find words to say. wat's wrong wif me i dun noe. i carn find the simplest sense of security. i dun noe when things will be gone. if they left me will it be forever i wonder. may be is juz that i m a lousy person to keep n maintain things. may be i juz have to let go of sumthings which nv had been mine. will i be better if i let go. but i fear that i will regret. my godness wat m i tokin now? wat is reality? wat is living? i wan to ran again if i can. but tis time i noe i muz stay. i muz learn to face things. muz learn to change myself. its the beginin n i hope everything ll turn fine as time pass. it will.

haiz. there is alway tis person who teaches me not to ran away. it is she the i understand that ranning away is not a soution to problems. knowing that she will be der when i needed her i move no. i noe tt the others will be be der for me as ever. so i muz not give up. and at the same i muz say without jia min n de rest of my darlin wif me i rrly carn move on wif life. thx for being wif me. although i m so useless. heh

P.S i love you

2004-12-24T16:25:00.000+08:00

simple life is wat everyone is lookin forward to. i nv realise how easy n simple life can be until the first time i went China. in many pple's mind it is a place which is dirty ulu n full of all kinds of diseases. but to me, it is quiet nice n cool. i love the ride on the bus from one place to another though often than not the journey usually took more than 1hr. seatin in the 24 seater movin on a road in which if the driver was nt careful i will juz say bye i dun feel a single fear. the air was so clean, sky so blue. nv seen tis in any cities b4. at night u can juz look at the sky n there will be countless no. of stars to smiling to u. being silent can be the happiest thing in life.

time flies like wat pple used to say 6 more days n tis yr will be a history 1 second n tis monent will be gone 7hrs 10mins more n todae will juz become a memory. we carn hold on to any sec or rather we dun have the ability to do so. many of the time we tired but end up we juz dun get the result. we juz fail. things can cum n go easily. pple too. but sum pple juz stay veri veri long wif u. dey r no longer juz best friend but oso soul mates. the lousiest human in life are those who juz hold on to meomries n refuse to move on wif their life. i guess i m one of them. but i juz scare if i rrly did move on will all my memories gone. every little detail u try u best to keep for the happiest moment to the saddest moment. however we nid to move on cos the earth is movin no matter is wif u or wout u. may be after 10 or 20 yrs u r still in tis way but pple around u have move. u nid to continue wif the journey whether u wan it or nt. a simple n easy heart u will nv find again. the pollution of the society to our mind n soul is already veri great. but things changes. guess tt's y kids r the happiest pple around no worries cos dey nv seen the cruel world yet. hope tt dey will nt be too dissapointed. all around the world at this moment there be may a child born, a aged dead, sum1 who suffer. happiness sadness is everywhere anytime. we nid to move on, nid to believe in a faith tt as long as we are determine, we have a chance to choose.

x'mas eve todae. last entry for tis yr i guess. santa claus is in everyone's heart as long as we think he is. to all, may all of u have a peaceful n wonderful life ahead. buy urself a prezzie thx those who helped u along ur way n tell ur love ones how u cherish dem in this season of giving n sharing. u guys noe wat i wanted to say la. juz be gd to urself n tell urself u r de most wonderful person in tis world. done let tis moment psss u by. gd luck always:)

L.I.E

2004-11-18T16:16:00.000+08:00

i had a wonderful dae ydae. everything dey did was soo touchin. make me like veri fuuny stare at things n cry like tt. i rrly love dem a lot. dey did so much things for me. arh dun noe how to say. rrly touch. thx dears for everything u all ve done. wat is life if i nv had met u gals. haha.

waves gt its ups n n downs. as it move things r being brought wif dem. from a place to another nv did these things knew where dey r goin. dey dun ve a choice to choose but juz keep movin. but sumthings will always be kept wif dem a memory which dey nv will forget. i guess pple r rite sayin tt friends drift apart after dey sledom meet up wif each other but we juz nid to put in effort to hold on. juz a little bit will do. n we will always be together. even if we are distant apart our heart will always be bind.

Leave Me Alone

2004-11-16T19:00:00.000+08:00

ha.long time nv blog. blog den is bad things again.sumthing muz rrly say i vei mean always use tis to write unhappy de things.i hate him.he always think i stupid lo. first time say tis den second time for a same question can give different answer de.if tis kind of person oso can suit to be dad. haha i gt a lot liao.i hate him!!!if money rrly matters to u sooo much den pls shut up. if u think tt i m still a 3 yr one child den pls leave me alone. if u think tt everything u've done for me is a lot. den for goodness sake go n c urself in the mirror. i hate u. u r a failure.i nt goin to tok to him.argh. spoil my mood.ya from 10 i now at 1 liao. sigh dun feel like tokin anymore. haha long time nv wash eyes liao. later tonight la.

Late

2004-11-10T08:20:00.000+08:00

went ah ma hse. dey were tokin abt tis guy who cause my bro death. he is now in jail transfer from changi prison to woodlands here. well though u nid no pay for the pain u cause to us. there is still another price u nid to pay. u will be guilty ur whole life. ah ma dey all were consoling themselves tt my bro had gone for good. ha.

anyway we went swimmin after tt. i finally rmb how to swim after 8yrs. on the way back home i saw tis person who i think i know him. we stare at each other but nthing was said. i was too scare tt i c the wrong person which i always do. but he rrly bring back a lot of memories to me. guess tt time i dun even had a chance to say gd bye b4 he left.

pple r too fond to make the same mistake. because dey r always late. think back n regret is wat we always do. sigh.

what's forever for?

2004-11-08T01:01:00.000+08:00

if knowing each other means waitin for a dae to say gd bye. den i rather nv had noe anyone. things may remain unchange. u n i will be still breathing in tis earth but always pple mind n heart change. wat is forever for then? does there sumthing call everlasting ever exist? one dae u n i will be leaving tis world wat will be be most afraid to lossin. well when tt time rrly cum, i guess we will be cryin hard n hopin we call bring everything we have wif us. but pple will nv learn how to cherish sumthing until da dae when dey loss it. we carn deny it. it's juz another cruel fact.

Promise

2004-11-02T01:42:00.000+08:00

please dun cum to me n tell me that promise are meant to be broken. if this is the case den dun make any promise to me. i m sick of believing everything n end up to find out that everything is actully a lie. ha. is this rrly for me. well thx i dun wan it.

often this is happening to us. this is part of life i suppose. so untrue. how many pple can say wif confident tt dey noe wat is their aim in life n noe dey are doin. i guess none. many of us juz live bindly juz move no w/out even knowin wat we are doin. guess we are lost. lost in tis grown up world. we had lost de simplest mind which we once had. tis will nv be found again. but we nid to move on. we carn stop. in tis world promise i guess is juz another word w/out any value in it. cos der is so many promises n yet so little pple who fulfil it.

2004-11-02T01:23:00.000+08:00

haha. scare now of my presentation todae. did le once dry ran n juz completed my script:p sigh slept le 3hrs tis afternoon so carn slp now. ha. nowadays seems to have rain every afternoon. gd weather to slp. gd luck to those takin o levels, a levels, those having exams n oso those havin op. ha. exam period now. gd season to go overseas. no pple. ha

Rain Falling In My Heart

2004-10-31T17:23:00.000+08:00

Coolin sunday afternoon a gd dae to stay indoor n slp. yet todae is the dae of cermation of sum1 who had passed away 3 daes ago. he gt nt much relation to me but sumhow i noe him. i rmd him as de uncle who always treat me chicken drumbstick when i went to de caterin stall where his daughter sell malay food in tiong baruh plaza. for 6 yrs since in move away from my ah ma hse tt i nv c him. guess if i stand i front of him now he oso carn recognise me le. anyway i din go to see him off. ya i juz carn. anyway juz wanna say uncle tan may u rest in peace.

y'dae is halloween. when for one dae tour to kota tingi in malaysia. did a veri stupid thing. i throw da whole packet of food which i suppose to bring into the rubbish bin w/out even knowin it until i return home n stare at the table to find out tt my bag of food is gone. we visited the ostrich farm n fruit farm den gt eat carb which is a dish included in the seafood lunch. my poor mei was kana stung by bee. she was cryin badly. den we went to see firefly. first time in my life i saw tis thing. n i love it. it is so beautiful. caught one but dun wan it. cos it is to beautiful to see it die. firefly is the first insect in love. so nice.

2004-10-28T22:51:00.000+08:00

onli thing i say is if one is unlucky even stayin at home wont help. haha. juz get scolded again. sianz i din do anything wrong lo. u din watch tv wat so i use to c vcd like tt oso kana scolded. ha. nvm carn be bothered. did le sumthing i veri proud of myself called jia n tok to her. hopefully tis ger feelin better ba. jenjen i dai i think muz agree la. tok for almost 1hr yet did nthin much:P
tml sch again. sianz. nvm oso nid to go back 3 more times den can go off le. die hard start to spin again le. later muz eat medicine liao lo.

2004-10-28T01:02:00.000+08:00

Letitia!! i miss her. now tokin to her. ha. she n me havin de same pro. she is rite we all have problems. sumtimes pple juz dun feel like tokin abt it. but life have to go on. everything happen for a reason we nid to search for it and up til den we will feel more ease. thx ger. i m sure we will pull thr de. n i will relate wat u say to jia too.

tis mornin nv go mjr wif chang yi. afternoon go back myself. walkin thr de path which i used to walk for 4yrs for alujunid mrt station many things came to my mind. the first time i walk thr de road is the first dae of sch wif chun tt dae i dun noe how to walk out den she was the first ger i knew in sch so i follow her. den slowly more n more pple walk together le. we used to laugh while walkin n tok veri loud as if we own de road like tt. haha. those were de daes w/out anything to trouble for. we used to wait for each other in mrt station control den there will always be one who is late n we end up nid to walk veri fast to sch. i saw hui ru on the way back. ya she have change more mature but still as gentler as b4. ha. many structures has change le. now no longer can cut de garden which use to be der. den oso de drain which i fell into in sec2 oso gone le. new multi storey carpark was build. time flies. 4yrs everydae c oso nv notice until now. HDB near our sch has a new look le after dun noe how long de renovation. back to sch everyone was home. it was so quiet. totally different from every mornin where we havin assembly n der will be a big gap between de guys n gers. haha. den cher will cum to say tis gap for elephent arh. i can still rmb chee san use to be de first guy standin in front. haha. many new things were added in our sch. i think is from our 5 buks which we contributed. haha. walkin thr the linkway towards canteen the nosie we make seem to be huz y'dae. we use to push each other on the way up to class. den up to 3F de class rm. how its for 2B le. n i nv forget a guy who hug a rubbish bin n shout shan cai. haha he was veri funny. n walk to 3rd floor.n de toliet. ha. gt loads of memory. from bathin to cryin n oso laughin. haha. n chun always like to hide der when she kana tummyache. n oso de time when we whole class book de toliet b4 pe for changin. n back to my dearest class 4E de glass paint which jia has wrote 4E is gone. de notice board wif de blue n heart shape de wrappin paper is gone. now de notice board is filled wif current 4E de class foto. ha. time flies. 1 yr le everything change so much. roof top which we mug for exams. where we celebrated xin's b'dae. where i will ran to when i nt feelin gd. where i cried. haha. de view der has change no longer clear blue sky. now everything is blocked by buildings. den for once de 3rd staircase is nt lock. for once i dun nid to climd de air con der to get to de ground foor. haha. but i rrly miss those times.the route to kallang is now blocked. no long nid to walk pass de place which will flood durin rainy daes.time can change a lot of things but sumthing it cannot change is the memory which will always remain in one's mind as long as we live on. many of things i had like my memory to be erease. but wat will be live be w/out all these wonderful memories.

then when to find chun. ya n i was lost in bugis for 35mins. walk to many places. to little india n even a road which i dun even noe da name. ask le almost 7 pple n dey told me de same thing de onli cold storage here is in bugis junction. lolx. den finally gt one aunty told me to go peace centre. haha. it was at far end lo. as leh i walk der lo. rrly jian a lot of fei arh. finally when i saw de watson nearby gt gudiance i was overjoy. yeah found le. tried. tt chun was so dai like turtle like tt waitin for customer den when she c me her mouth drop open. haha. waited for her to finish work. der veri dangerous gt a lot of women wearin so indecent n anyhow wave to ah pek. eee. den we went dinner at BK n window shop.

carn go on le rrly tired. nitez

WAIT

2004-10-25T17:24:00.000+08:00

In one's life, we are always waiting. from the time when we are in our mama's womb we are waiting to cum out to see the world. when we finally born we wait to grow up. as we grow our mind develop n there are more things we are waiting. waiting to graduate from a school and waiting to enter to the society. Finally we are adults, we begin to wait for our love ones to appear or wait for our love ones to say yes to us. when we had a family we wait for our first child to be born. den we wait for them to grow. lastly, we wait for our life to reach a complete. this is a perfect life where many pple are living. however. sum will not complete this cycle they left half way. or rather they took a short cut and they quickly reach the last lap.

if we describe life as a 8k long ran. i guess many will like to make it to the end and become champions. we may not be the ranner up but definitely we will complete the race and become a champion of our own. so please never ever give up easily. problems we may face, tough it can be but all we need is a courage and a little strength to pull through.

A story

2004-10-24T22:22:00.000+08:00

this is wat xin has send me:
One day an old man boarded a bus. As he was going up
the steps, one of his shoes slipped off. The door closed
and the bus moved off so he was unable to retrieve it.
The old man calmly took off his other shoe and threw it
out of the window.

A young man on the bus saw what happened, and could
not help going up to the old man and asking, "I noticed what you did,
sir. Why did you throw out your other shoe?"

The old man promptly replied, "So that whoever finds them will be able
to use them. "

The old man in the story understood a fundamental philosophy for life
do not hold on to something simply for the sake of possessing it or
because you do not wish others to have it.

We lose things all the time.

The loss may seem to us grievous and unjust initially, but loss only
happens so that positive changes can occur in our lives. We should not
always assume that losing something is bad, because if things do not
shift, we'll never become better people or experience better things.

That's not to say of course that we only lose "bad" things;
it simply means that in order for us to mature emotionally
and spiritually, and for us to contribute to the world, the
interchange between loss and gain is necessary.

Like the old man in the story, we have to learn to let go.

The world had decided that it was time for the old man to lose his
shoe.

Maybe this happened to add momentum to a series of events leading to a
better pair of shoes for the old man.

Maybe the search for another pair of shoes would lead the old man to a
great benefactor.

Maybe the world decided that someone else needed the shoes more.

Whatever the reason, we can't avoid losing things. The old man
understood this. One of his shoes had one out of his reach. The
remaining shoe would not have been much help to him, but it would be a
cherished gift to a homeless person desperately in need of protection
from the ground.

Hoarding possessions does nothing to make the world better or us. We
all have to decide constantly if some things or people have run their
course in our lives or would be better off with others. We then have to
master the courage to give them away.

2004-10-24T21:56:00.000+08:00

Again one fone dae n my dae was ruin. i cum to feel how jenjen feels when she was de last one to noe abt sumthing. 30mins ago, der was her on de other line of the receiver sayin pls rmb to bring wat u ve done for de op. hahahhahahahaha. wat m i suppose to do i don't even noe n now u expect me to produce my slides.
it was veri funny when my friend told me tis 'u r nt amanda, cos amanda will nv be in bad mood'. thx tt in ur mind i m alwayz happi. but i was rrly dissapointed orh 4 yrs de friend tellin me tis. u shld noe be better enough ba. haha. may be u r rite i m nt who i m. i onli noe how to ran. tt's y i nv have any troubles.
todae was suppose to be goin to kallang for dragon boat but i m lock at home. sigh. besides goin to aunt hse i nv step to any shoppin mall for 6daes le. i hate my brain.
watch Lilo n Stitch again y'dae. da first time i watch it is last yr wif a lot of pple in PS. n i actually cried like crazy. stupid it is juz cartoon. n for de second time same thing happen. may be it bring back a lot of memories for me. may be de show was rrly touchin. i dunnoe.
i want a break. i m lookin forward to sch holidays.
6 more daes to sat.
tis few daes it have been raining. rainy daes i love n hate. can slp but de weather oso make my mood go rite down to de bottom. y'dae my mei was like tellin me jie arh u have no friend arh. i was shock of tis sudden quest. den i took out my wallet n show her. den she say again. u bluff me de. i juz keep quiet n walk away. sorri dear i dun noe y u askin me tis n i rrly dun noe wat answer u wan from me.
the best way to rmb sum1 is to forget dem n let dem go. somehow i dun noe how to do so. xin is rite ah ma u r veri veri stubborn. but i dun noe la. i rrly dun noe. i scare tt one dae i wake up i will forget tt he once was wif me for 16yrs. i scare. sorri i nid a veri veri long time to heal to forget to let go n to adapt my new life once again.
something i nid to remind myself constantly, amanda u nid to cum back u nid to be back in de reality. rannin away wont help rrly. guess i juz nid de inner strength to push me to pull me out of everything.

Sometimes, we fall in love

2004-10-22T10:05:00.000+08:00

long long time nv blog le. firstly tired. secondly dun noe how to write in english. ha.
tis wk is jia b'dae. hopefully she enjoyed her b'dae n de things we gave her. yup we celebrated it in k box. wheez. although she was afraid tt pple will forget her birthdae but dear we nv forget orh. haha. c we love u so much. haha.

if i m in sch now probably is mr tan's lesson. nv miss sch so much til now. carn deny tt my head still suffer from so kind of accident. but to prevent myself from lossing blood(my mum wants me to go for blood test) i have to juz said tt i m alright to my mum. sorri i m juz too weak. second dae of mc at home. y'dae mornin i woke up at 4.30 cos for no reason da head juz too pain tt i carn stand so wake up le. den i prush my hands on de head n cried. pain it hurts. sound stupid but i m juz so. stayin home is veri veri bored but mum say go out later die liao oso no1 noe so better stay at home when ders' no1 at home oso lor.... for half de dae i wake n slept i dun have much energy to move. i was veri sorri to my pw members. went to bugis der eat steamboat den my aunties were like ai yo wat happen to u. den dey keepin sayin tt i was sufferin from duno wat uncurable disease. ha. their concern make me sad. happi i guess at least dey care. but i will get well de. dun forget i m well fed by u all when i was young. every wk tonic soup for supperl. i m sure all tis wont go into waste rite?

being alone at home i sumhow wanted to take away wat i have told mself earlier. loneliness rrly is more pain dan other things. if now i m in sch at least der will be jia n jenjen der. but how is totally me n myself onli. funny me as an only child shld have get used of all this but i have known my friends n i have no feel of being alone when being wif dem. if onli i nv have knew dem den may be i will nv have such feelin.
sigh... everytime when i had nthin to do, i will dig out all fotos n letter to read. flipin thr things bring back a lot of memories i had. de first time i go climbin bukit timah hill where xin sprain her ankle n tot we were lost somewhere i de forest. i can still rmb how worry she was. n dai dai de chun actually gave me 2 letters for my 13th birthday. den oso how i gt to know samsam when we had our singin competition in sec1. n how tis ger sang so beautifully in choir. n oso how jia had been thr so much before we met her. all tis things seem like y'dae when we had already been thr it 2yrs le.

growin up is like a process. it seems short when one day we sit dae to think abt it. but somehow when we are in it we will feel take it is long n nv endin. from a baby who knows onli how to cry. we begin to learn:
1)ABC
2)how to say "mum mum" when we are hungry
3)how to address pple
4)how to tok
5)how to make friends
6)sumthing call rules n regulations
7)wat is seperation
8)wat is sadness
9)wat is happiness
10)wat is angry
11)to be strong
12)how to study
13)the feelin of failure
14)how to tell lies
15)wat to do to get attention from parents
16)the feelin of like
17)but slowly changes from like to love
18)to follow wat pple do
19)but slowly to have our own idea of doing things
20)that happiness is brought my other pple to you
21)so you wan to bring it to pple too:)
22)that the feeling of seperation is nt gd
23)being a children is da happiest moment in life
24)being alone is nt a gd thing
25)loving n being love is a gd feelin
26)singin is a way to destress
27)de feelin of stress
28)to think a lot
29)cherish pple around you
30)pple dun live on forever
31)that reality is curel
32)life is nt de perfect as wat u think
33)growin up is a stupid idea
34)to be conscious on our looks
35)to face up wif challenges
36)there is reason for everything
37)'happy ever after' onli happen in fairy tales
38)tt we may nt ve de courage to face up wif life
39)life is unfair
40)suffering
41)escape
42)love hurts
43)love n hate can be juz one small distance away
44)story will always be story
45)money is veri important
46)human is juz another living organsim in tis world
47)food can save us n can oso kill us
48)the power of a smile:)
49)afraid of dyin
50)how to protect yourself
there are still a lot of things tt we have learnt in the process of growing. from one small foetus to wat u r now u will be surprise on how u have developed. in de future to come you will learn to have family of your own den again n again de cycle of growing will continue. every oragnism is de same. but human is more superior in a way because dey are more advanced. have you ever wonder if we were de ants population and ants were using computer. will we still have greed? will we still be so selfish. haha.

Gd dae. i gt to slp again le.

2004-10-04T03:42:00.000+08:00

Wheez 15mins to 4am i won my dad lo. haha. but have to pay up wif my precious sleep... sigh. yap juz completed my pw. forst time i feel proud of my pw... eh muz thx jia cos she pei me up to 2 plus orh. it muz be tired for her. she so gd veri time pei me den me leh carn do anything for her. even when she down tt time i think i make her worse instead of making her feels better. although i m down right lousy to be a friend n even more irriating dan a xiao qiang but somehow her tolerant level is veri high. hee. thx a lot for tt ger. dun worry our friendship would last veri long de. dun worry abt it too much tis is wat u told me rmb? depress i sumthing which cum from our own mind. when u feel tt tis feeling is veri strong juz tell urself y do i nid to feel so when there is someone out der who worried abt me n love me. i dun wan to make tis person have da same feeling as i rite. so to all my friends. i will love u guys as long as i live on:) when you feel tt everything has gone wrong and u r lost juz rmb there will be sum1 out der waitin to help u n tis person love u a lot. so u all muz all be happi orh. for urself n for those who love ya:)

SUAY

2004-09-29T23:30:00.000+08:00

I rrly muz admit a fact now i m downright stupid n blur. for the second time tis yr i took da wrong bus. n tis time i end up at sembawang end der de beach urgh. i was tryin veri hard to figure out where i world i m in how cum da bus was like movin to a veri ulu place. den i call mama for help she say leh continue to sit da bus will reach sum interchange de. lucky for me after 30mins i reach woodlands interchange. i was veri tired le. but still thinkin why i took da wrong bus. sigh. den leh reach home n bath. bath half way den de shower de pipe came off. argh. den me had to go to another toilet to bath la. so unlucky. now nid to do pw le. sianz.

2004-09-25T11:16:00.000+08:00

sigh. rather dishearted now. de reason y i m left alone is becos one of my relative meet wif an accident n landed up in hospital.
since he left, different news of pple leavin tis world n pple being in hospital was always heard. i somehow began to hate the sound of fone ringing n even seeing relative on mrts or on bus. i hate de feeling of pple leaving. it is cold n helpless. u carn do anythin nthin at all to stop. the line between live n death is so close. for one moment tis person can be tokin to u, next ring ring. "sorrie to tell u tis xxx has met wif n accident, pls come down to SGH Block 10 to verify his identity n claim his body. thank you."
ha. y carn i juz be sum1 who dun have any close kin or even friends den may be i will nv be needed to be near tt place. i ll nv be so damn rite down. den may be i dun even have to face up wif different problems. den i may be better. den i dun nid to care even if i m alive or nt.

but again if i m nt in tis world i ll nv understand de meanin of love n to be love. i will nv had a chance to meet my parents to thank them. to suan my dad. to get scolded by my aunt. to snatch things wif 3 of my veri cute de gors. to care for my ah ma. to teach my 2 young sweet cousin how to sing. to get to know my veri close friends. to learn the feelin of hate, disappointment, happi. to know how to have feelin.

Now tt i m here. wat can i do? i m searchin sumthin sumthing which i dun noe now tt i believe i ll find it one day:)

Home Alone

2004-09-25T10:51:00.000+08:00

Now at home alone. den tis stupid com was so lag carn even go msn n chat. sigh. nv later shall msg. y'dae suppose to meet jia here de but again de internet connection here nt gd. siao siao one. jia sorrie i nt purposely dun wan to tell u de. but hor if u noe liao surely veri pai seh one ma. k shall nt tok abt it le.

Had my CL promo y'dae. eh paper is tough. ha. den again went to my second home(tpjc library).

Thurs din slp much cos of pw which make me stare at com for hours until my eyes cnt shut. den when i lay on bed the tears was like drippin. arh my eyes so lousy carn focus on sumthing for long. lecture todae was veri sian. but mr lim was so nice to let us of early. hee. den as usual library. jerome came n we started studyin chi which make my head rrly big. sigh. the time came when i finally carn take it le. so when singin wif jia n jen jen studyin.

2004-09-23T01:44:00.000+08:00

tired. ha. ydae mood rrly veri nt gd la. but alright since no 1 will care rite. but hor veri pai seh to my 2 friends. cos hor y'dae earyl in de mornin receive bad news arh. den i car my dad keep naggin. sumtimes i juz dun wan to be disturb like wat jia said de. ha she's rite. den lesson was so sian todae. n sumthing i cant deny my maths rrly CMI dun understand wat pple doin even when i go on to de board to write i oso dun noe copyin wat lo. sigh. stupid rite. den de rest of thing i dun even rmb liao when now i was recall wat had happen. i hate ydae. i rrly hope will nt go back again la:)

todae arh same old thing la. nthin change. den i was proud of myself during pw. cos hor i cnt tahan de ao bai den i tok to her ask like shut up like tt la. ai ya i noe i bad la but sorri la is like hui li mad n me was already so cock up wif things le den she still keep dun noe do wat la. opps. anyway carn be bother la i mean retribution on me can liao la i dun mind. den my final statement i make was haha finally pw over. hee. die le la gettin more n more ap. how? opps. sorri. sorri to anyone which i had directly or indirectly hurt. i noe i lousy. tt's no1 will even care if der's was anything tt goin to happen to be. may be there will even be pple who r glad tt i leave for gd. but at tis moment when i still given a chance to live i will be more thick skin to live on la... sorri did i disappoint anyone?

ha had been listenin to From This Moment for abt 1h lo. tired leh but carn slp. haha. cos hor gt new findin too excited le later write in dairy highly confidential de... haha...

ya still gt one more thing i feel like slappin one person leh. he vei mean lo say me ugly nvm la cos a fact ma.. but hor he say my best friend jia leh... wan die lo... i oso nv offend him... den de jia even more innocent lo... tis kind of pple oso gt de... haha guess tis one call retribution la...

2004-09-21T05:29:00.000+08:00

sianz juz woke up because nid to print my pw de 3rd draft... sigh der goes my slp again... but was quite gulity cos my research article still gt a lot haven complete... sorri to my gp to have such a lazy person like me... ha... tired tried tried i juz hope tt promo will come soon n everything is over... my eye bag is gettin darker n darker... guess when chun saw me she will say ha gt panda... life in tpjc still de same... nthin ever changes... but de heart to sch changes... things are ran as it always do but its juz tt pple changes... we cnt bound dem from doin so... this is facts of life... a fact tt i m sick of knowin... but somehow i muz be realistic la... if nt i will juz live in my own little world lo... it sounds gd la but cnt sia... sigh... tokin cock la... but i juz nid to take a break a long long break... i wanted to give up in a lot of things tt i have been stubbornly holdin to... can i? when life turns out nt da way i want it to i juz choose to ran away... i dun ve de courage to face it... ya i m lousy n veri veri bad... a little faith tt bad thigns will juz go away may help in makin my dae better ba... haha...

i will grow up one dae... one dae i will be stronger... by tt time i will be ready to face life challenges... ya one dae... i m waitin for da dae:)
But now nid to go sch lo...
Enjoy tis early mornin... wheez

2004-09-19T10:07:00.000+08:00

Ha loads of work is waving at me now... sianz... since it is de begining of the day, i shall slack a bit n blog first b4 goin crazy again...
y'dae been standin for da whole dae workin... tired la... i like tt part when we tok how our dad r havin their "menopause" during closing... but hor kanna say by sum aunties... argh... nvm tis is work... jia n jerome came n visit me... so sweet of them... tt's y i always sat tis ger nv fail me down de:) den yaw wee kept his promise n walk pass me 2 times... ya best part is i saw mr liew's wife finally... eh she is look veri virtuous to me orh...salute to her... den oso gt ms foo she like old liao... ha n xiao yi n uncle plus my 2 cute didi n bobo came... dey laugh at me... ^_^ but is alright... ya gt to eat durain puff wif real durian inside... damn shiok... haha... but hor poor jasmine has to bare wif my durain smell... at night went to supper... lolz... gain 1kg le leh... haha...

Friday
i was totally screwed durin Bio... i HATE bio... cos hor i nv understand wat de cher try to say although i had pay 99% of attention... haiz... but cnt fail leh since i already give up hope on GP... bridge come to end will become straight de la... den i was oso veri irriated wif ao bai... she was like chasing after me even when i tried to go toilet... i was soooo dun noe how to describe tt i actually stood in toilet cubicle to cry... sounds stupid but cnt control la...
den study wif jia in library... jen jen go do pw interview... poor lao hu lost his file keep moanin... sorri la carn help but i believe tt he will find his file de...

2004-09-16T23:54:00.000+08:00

TIRED now... as usual tis whole wk had been stayin in sch since mornin... ha time spent in sch is more dan in my hse... sian... but nvm la everyday c the 2 face oso nt bad... hee... tt massagin aunty rrly lousy my leg still pain still ache when tryin to cross my leg to sit... sigh... old le juz like wat dai jing said i look old n funny thing is i actually agree wif her... hee... nvm la old den old lo... ate a lot a lot of things todae... break time eat chicken+chicken chop rice. after sch eat dried prawn noodle n wafer. dinner milo+biscuit. supper shui kueh+ carrot cake... haha...

y'dae was cool when to OCS... de gor gor der damn shuai... haha den oso oic n ic de xiao hong mao n xiao qing mao both veri cute... wheez... haha samsam say i first time say guy shuai de guy confirm cmi de but dear u wrong le even jia agree tt he is shuai... den gt one guy his life veri cool went overseas to study den now cum back serve NS... ya he oso veri shuai... anyway NS guy der all so man de... haha... den return to sch n back to library wif oso 3 pple(jia keng hong me)... but nvm gt our cher mdm twu...

tues leh after jasmine jie tellin me y tpjc no shuai ger i saw one jia de B828... he nt bad lookin la small nose is de onli feature i can rmb clearly but overall 8 out of 10...

Ya muz comment tt i rrly hate my dad so self centered... nvm la his pro nt mine dun care so much abt him le...

6 more mins to fri le... goin orh orh lo... tennis here i cum... ya i feel tt i m gd at tennis... opps!!!

Anyone

2004-09-14T01:18:00.000+08:00

Everyone is weak i know and i carn change fact somehow somewhat things always take from different same... but i always hope that i can help be friends thr their bad times... i m helpless n weak whenever i see my friend in pain... a bit stupid but funny leh... seems that i cherish them more than anything... first time seeing them hurt i rrly scare until break into tears but not always la... jia spraining her leg in pe n being too stress up on things, xin havin hyperventilation, sam goin hospital due to sum funny reason, chun having stomache(which is always de), first time seeign yuni cry, ah yi being tooo stress of class work... i just hate times when those i care are hurt or sad or pain... sigh cnt do anything to help them like i so useless like tt... haiz... jen jen is rite everyone will have sum1 dey treasure n wan them to be happi de... ya there u r i found them le n of course oso gt jen jen who is sum1 tt help me figure n i understand a lot of things... now around me onli gt jia n jen jen... wat can i do w/out them leh?
Sooo i pray hard hard very hard... juz let all my friends be happi always n i m enough le... i dun mind takin away anything away from me... my mum is rite we muz exchange sumthing for another de there is no gd things tt does nt nid repay... so i used my happiness to exchange... wise choice i suppose:)

First dae of sch after 1wk holidae

2004-09-13T23:43:00.000+08:00

hoho juz reach home todae start our study plan lo... stay back to 9... first dae of sch muz be happi a bit... so although i damn tired but can manage to tanhan until now... thx to n slp in the wk ends... yipee... k my term start wif 2 periods of mr lim's lesson den follow by other tutorials n lectures... ya todae de bio SPA trial i die until like no bone le...nv read instruction properly den add 4cm cube of hydrogen peroxide instead of filling the specimen bottle up to 4cm... sigh... den da stupidest thing is nv notice it n happily continue making de mistake for 3 reading until when i goin to next set of readings den i realise how cum pple de solution so much my one so little... urgh... den i have to redo everything... nvm den i found out tt my filter paper dun noe is float or wat so end up i have to create my own readings:P shh.... when i cum to doing question i cnt answer at all den nv did da t sq or chial sq test which mr toh took many mintues to explain... sorri lah i rrly dun noe wat's tt... hee tml gonna kanna his scoldin again... sianz... tt's da main reason i hate bio... gt phobia... hee... anyway juz aimin a Donkey for tt...
after sch when to library... stuck in one quest for 2hrs... rrly genuius... den oso tok cock la... feel a bit guilty like make jen jen veri unhappi... sigh i juz bad at handling friendship stuff...
den went to mum's workplace, poor angel sprain her leg... veri happi my mum brought le 2 ice cream mooncake from hagen daze ai ya da mooncake like gold so ex one for 12.50... muz think of a way to bring to sch to share wif jia n jen... wheez...
so excited can go back to my rm tml lo... 7th month over no fear now... thx to my dad he cleaned up my rm... but hor i scolded him for being blur enough to leave a wet cloth on my bed... argh...
k goin off lo...

2004-09-12T18:26:00.000+08:00

I M NOT YOUR MAID OKAY PLEASE DUN KEEP COMMANDIN ME... I HAD ENOUGH OF YOU LIAO HOR... MAKE ME WAN TO HACK PPLE NOW!!!!
I SPEND THE WHOLE DAE DOIN WR DEN U LEH KEEP MSGIN ASKIN ME DO TIS DO THAT... WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE ARH... LEADER VERI BIG IZZIT....

Sigh of relieve after releasing all my grief... i think i nt incline to com or the com hate me... keep hangin... den hor still gt tis stupid msg YOUR COM WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY SHUT DOWN IN 20 SECONDS... DEN 19, 18,17...,3,2,1,0... Diling everyting gone... urgh...

What will you bring

2004-09-12T08:39:00.000+08:00

Haha wake up veri early todae... cos carn slp arh thinkin of sumthing... juz wondering y pple act in funny ways... i wan to try openin the door but seems like it is tough... sigh... anyway tot of sumthing... rmb ah lek has told us a interview quest for admission dun to to wat de... it goes like this:
if are to go to another world and you can onli bring one thing which u think is most important to you wat will you bring...
i ask my gang abt tis but hor like onli ask le sam n xin jia i forget... nvm tml if i rmb i go ask...
sam said she will bring her memories wif her so tt she can keep forever and think back when she is bored...
xin leh she will bring her mother along... reason eh i forget liao leh...
the rest one leh i will add in when i ask le dem...

kk tt's all muz go lo...
Gd morning

Fridae

2004-09-11T14:51:00.000+08:00

Haha todae play le a lot of snake gt one conclusion my skill of play tt game is rrly worse than jia a lot arh… but nvm I prefer space impact… wheez… set a new record of 9000 plus ba… I was so proud of myself… den do sum maths lo… maths arh maths can be a friend n oso foe… make pple go crazy… mathematician r rrly insane nthing to do so think so much abt figure make us now studying like hell… haha… cos last time they no com n internet to play… den I do until veri sian so start thinking of names startin from Aa to Az for both guys n gals… ha… the name I invented which I veri proud of de is AoBai jia was like laughin so loud abt it… sounds cool rite… den when to Chinatown lo… I rrly love tt place gt a sense of feelin which I duno how to describe leh… juz feel veri high n oso familiar der… from pple to shop even roads oso gt my little memories de orh… haha… I prefer old things rather than new de leh… guess if I m de government den my ctry sure die de nv will it develop… but if you have a chance to choose which will u prefer leh? Waited for half n hour den de bus came… while slpin on de bus, receive le one msg… it’s from ah yi, sayin tt her grandma passed away… I dunoe how to console her… I feel so bad… last time she stays wif me n comforted me but now I dun even noe wat to say or do… I rrly a lousy friend… sorri ah yi… u muz pull thr it u can de… tis is wat u had told me b4…

Ha another reason for y I m a lousy person le… tis is da second time I heard news of my friend de grandma passed away tis yr le… n for both I nv do anything constructive thing which is able to make them feel better de… sigh… wat m I suppose to do… I dun noe…

Sorri for being so lousy friends…

2 Love Story

2004-09-10T23:15:00.000+08:00

Got two story wanted to write here today is true story… juz heard it from my aunt today… had a mixed feelings after hearing them… one had a happi ending, the other a incomplete ending which I guess you n I would not want to have...

Let’s tok abt the happi one… der was this ger who had a sister… their parents died when they were veri young… so their grandaunt being their onli relative left had to take care of them… unfortunately, tis woman is a wicked person… she abused her 2 grand niece… two 2 gers had bruises all over dem everyday they went to sch… the elder ger was a classmate of my aunt… when they were I their Sec2, tis ger met a guy who is 4 yrs older than her… n dey both fell in love… but sadly the ger still carn take the pressure of sch work n her idiotic aunt… so both her n her sister drop out of sch… at that time the ger was Sec2 n her sister Pri2… they ran away from the hse n rented a room from my god aunty…. their life was veri tough… and the ger waited for the guy to serve his NS n complete his university education… luckily for her their relationship when thr smoothly… however when it cum to the time when both of dem decided to get together, the guy’s family was totally unhappy on tis marriage… den hor I oso dun noe how they get together de la… onli noe tt in de end they live happily ever after… haha… a real life cinderalla which I guess most ger was lookin forward de ba… but sumtimes we cnt denied that fate always like to play a fool on pple…

He N She was a pair of lovely couple since their jc life… together they enter local university and graduated but the guy a little late la cos NS mah… best part is dey even when overseas to further their studies together… so sweet rite… after they came back both of the families agree to let them have an engagement first… so tis pair which make many pple envious de exchange their rings… but after 4 mths of engagement, they broke up le… reason becos they no longer have feelings for each other… stupid yet the most useful reason which couple use for breaking up… ya 8 yrs of relationship when to drain juz becos of one simple sentence…

Sigh, after hearing tis a tot come to mind, pple rrly funny beings, when devoted to sumthing one has 1001 reason for them but when it cum to hate 1 reason is enough… if tis is the way things work who will dare to even step foot on feeling in love? Haha…
Fate u r rrly naughty always like to fool pple… we cant deny tt hate n love rrly is juz one line different!!!

Short Summary

2004-09-10T01:51:00.000+08:00

Ha home at last. Listensing to radio now wif cooling brezze blowing... juz had a new understanding... Life can be meaningful if we live it well... at the end of it, it is us who has the power to control on what we are doing... although hor sumtimes we nid sum luck oso la... haha... anyway juz hoping tt everything bad will juz go thr fast... sunshine n beach i m waiting for you... yipee...

so sian now but oso dun noe y carn slp leh... staring at the foto i took wif my gang de pple one yr ago... time flies so fast cuming tis yr end if able to get promo will be in j2 le... haha...

first dae of sch when i first step into tpjc i was hopin to explore to 3rd level which i nv had a chance to go up when i went tpjc for East 1 cluster choir night... den was so happi n excited of jc life seems so fun to me especailly wif so many friends i know wat me n best part is jia is wif me... nt as lonely as ah yi where she alone in SRJC... for the first 3 mths... me n jia has been skipping sch using all kind of stupid reason... n oh ya my first time working... haha... rrly miss those daes although veri tired but oso veri fun...

Ya den de time cum when 'o'level result release le... sigh scored badly la... nevertheless still can stay on here... eh gd or bad dun noe leh... many of my friends left to other places le... but sum1 leh still stay... haha thx to her i dun feel so funny der... cos i hate changes... tis ger rrly make life better for me... den gt to be veri friend wif jen jen too... n the 3 of us give a veri stupid name for us "san cheng rou"... haha...

Days here were tough n like wat my friend used to say, pple in jc r all veri jian... i dun noe y dey say tt la but i rrly dun bother so much la... 2 yrs here onli(so pls arh cnt retain ha) so ren... den hor still gt de 2 layer to pei so no fear lo...

i wan faster grad den can go holidays wif them... wheez... tsk muz start saving le... crabby here i come!!

Mug hard muz be my hobby until promo ends... but luckily dring preparation can relax a bit by thinkin wif kind of prezzie can give to Xin, Sam n Jia... haha...

Shh.. say a little secret... dey rrly rulez...

N Jia u r the Best orh... Ya u r a ROCK hard n strong... >_<

2004-09-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

Useless Me

2004-09-09T19:35:00.000+08:00

Sigh... may be i juz too lousy to be a human

2004-09-09T19:13:00.000+08:00

Current location: Aunt's Hse
Time: 7:14pm
Weather: Cloudy
Mood: Tired. Full. Down
Places i been: Bedok North Wet Market. TPJC library. 888 Food Court

Ha long long time nv blog le... since now oso no mood to study so tok sum crap here la. Tis sch holiday was veri short arh... one wk... but i rather it is short... tis will means tt exams cuming... wheez... veri scare la but i rather it cum faster dan keep on dragin the waitin time rrly make me STRESS!!! juz pray tt everyone will pass... hohoho...

Tis few daes did the same thing... STUDY....

Nvm, 3 more mths to holiday... yoho...

2004-08-22T21:14:00.000+08:00

This afternoon I was doing maths and I duno how to do again. So I when to bed and rest… feeling so stupid and helpless… haha… den my aunt came she asked why nowadays I keep lying on bed n not doing anything. I juz pretend tt I was slping n ignored her… is nt tt I dun wan to do… I rrly duno how to do… wat u wan from me I duno how to get… I hate maths… tis 3 words I truly understand it worthiness le… ha… it was wat chun used to say to me last yr while we were doing maths… n ha now my turn to say… wat can I do now? Can sum1 tell me pls!!!
Dun feel like toking now... i hate him... i nv do anything yet being scolded again... tt's y i hate sunday.... i hate seeing him... i noe i shld nt be mean afterall he is still my dad rite... i rrly tired... i dun wan to do anything le... although i still gt my hw which i nv touch todae... watching olympics for many hours... table tennis gals... we lost to Korea... nvm at least still gt into the 4th position... haha... i m goin to slp le... nt in mood to do anything... he nv fails to make my dae worse... kk gd nite...

Where are you?

2004-08-22T08:48:00.000+08:00

I once heard people said everyone in this world will have an angel for them to protect them from anything which may hurt them n may cause them to feel sad... where are you my angle i need you now... i am not feeling good... sad to say i carn even find a reason for tis my be i juz feeling tired...

2004-08-22T08:09:00.000+08:00

13hrs ago i was crying myself to slp... end up i cried for 1hr... realised tt i gtg so much tears to spare... slept for 12 hrs was so shuang... but de feeling is nt gd...
Tired! was the word i could use... i m tired of everything... PW make me veri sick esp when i try to do everything i can but end up the others dun even bother to do... sianz...
For past few daes, i slept veri little...
Thurs, jia's bag was stolent i was so worry for her tt i end up slping onli for 2hrs... sigh tt ger arh muz be veri sad tt time inside her bag gt her sch file, her beloved pencil box, a priceless organiser, her billbong wallet wif all de impt stuff inside, her big bag which she love so much de and most imptly her hp which she waited for so long to get de... haiz... i carn do anything to help... juz curse tt culprit... oie ger dun feel sad le orh...
Fri, i dun wan tis dae to cum cos tis ll means tt sat is cumin... i dun wan... but sumthing gd is todae is my gd friend de b'dae... morning, reach sch early since i carn stay long at home too... den when to search for jia's bag... gd thing is her bag was found.... but wallet n hp gone le... i dun noe how to console her... cos de feelin of lossing sumthing u like is bad... n no matter wat others say is meanlingless, u juz nid to arrange de emotion out urself... sorri i din do much to help...
my headaches todae... during mr tan's lesson, i leave de class for toilet... den jia say he think i ve ap wif him... haha... but sorri sir i juz not feelin gd todae... help chun buy le 70 test tubes... so proud of myself tt i nv break any of them (put in locker). opps... after sch when for pw then interact de ceromony preparation in which me n jie yin be the media resource pple... den when to TM to find de b'dae ger... she muz be a happy little ger todae... receive so many prezzie... ha hopefully she ll stay happi always... we waited for xin n sam to cum den when around to find wallet for jia... too bad carn de the leather one she like... so we brought le one from wallet shop... de wallet is similiar to wat Sarah have... but there is de onli one can make it... so jia cnt say dun like orh... den sam have to go off le... we leh so to have dinner... den shop in giordano... spend le a lot... ai ya next wk muz save money again liao... it is around 8 le when we finish de shoppin... i dun dare to go home... so go find mama... tok wif xin on da way... haha she have the same thinking as me... nt to worry ger, we onli have to ren for another 3yrs can le...
when i reach home its 12 plus le... start doing my pw den slept at 2...
Sat, have my bio SPA... haiz the cher came n teach me how to do... ha die le... nvm still gt 6 more... den do pw experiment... sigh... i was irritated when i noe tt der is still some things tt is nt done yet... den reach de center der le... we have to delay everything juz becos of her... the kids der veri fun... but naughty... wat can i say kids muz be kids... haha... i gt to noe 4 students.. den promise them tt i ll go back cos owe one of them drink n another one say wan to teach me how to play cards... i ll return once i complete my exam... den li yen lost her digi cam... partly is my fault... but i dun noe wat to do either... juz walk round n round der hopefully can c sumthing... when back for interact feeling rather low... tears were already ranning along my eyes le... any moment when i c my close friends i ll break down... den start to keep myself busy by doing everything i can... but as the thing end i carn ran again le... i almost cried when i saw jia but i ren... until i cnt take it le... i walk veri fast to de bus stop... cos i noe de moment jia tok i ll feel weak again n bursts off... i dun wan tis to happen... end up it still happen le... an idiot cried on de bus where eveyone was wondering y... so malu... when i reachh home no1 was at home... so alone i walk abt... haiz... feel like a stray pet...
finally aunt came back... n i rush to bath immediately n after tt buried myself in bed n let all my tears out...

Round Round

2004-08-18T21:00:00.000+08:00

Ha it had been a long time since i last blog le... eh how i feeling how? LOST! ya rrly dun noe wat to do now... but it semms like i got loads of stuff waiting for me in my file... but dun bother abt it first... yap i still haven rrly recover from de irriating mood i had durin my pw... sorri to jia n jen cos i rrly pissed off with sum1 who keeps cuming out wif funny ideas... she always nv fail to make me headache... sound like i veri bad to tok to her at such a loud voice but i rrly carn stand her:P

Count down 17 days more to hoilday... yipee... looking forward to that...

todae s'pore badminton lost le... poor susilo muz be veri down now... but he rrly did his best le... haha...

later i goin to copy bio notes le... oh ya todae is yan shan's b'dae... so cnt be so bad later go msg her...
Wed again... middle of da wk lo which means friday cuming soon le... but SPA tis sat... sianz... den oso nid to do a dance on sat... stupid arh... i had dancing but cnt chose le... still thinking hard on wat i can give to chun... fri i m goin to show dem my bear bear's foto... n tml i goin to take jia's nua nua foto too... bet dey ll sure say how cum our taste gettin from bad to worse... haha

oh ya last sat our gang when to pasir ris park... xin n sam seat wif teck chait to take care of our bags n jia when for her rannin den chun n me when cycling... n i can gurantee tt my cycling skills had improve.. but hor still a bit nt steady... haha... n thx to chun's treat on Long John... we gossip der... haha... ai ya now scare tt i die n end up in hell surely gt my tounge chop off de... i dun wan...

sch is still de same... haha... anyway tis is de way since jan... but gd news is oct is cumin which means holiday... whooz...

2004-08-02T23:53:00.000+08:00

Haha dun think anyone can possibly understand wat i wrote... but nvm lah... hee... ya 7mins to 12 le so goin to slp...

walk out from the past

live today to the fullest

hope for furture....

GUESS??

2004-08-02T23:32:00.000+08:00

Dang ni yi ge ren de shi huo shi meh dong xi hui rang ni qian gua xiang nian neh? meng tian wan shang deng wu guan shang fang meng yao jing ru meng xiang shi, ying jie wu de bu shi yi tian mang lv huo de meng xiang er shi yi ge rang wu hai pa de hei an...
wu ye he da jia yi yang hei pa ji mo... wu bu xi huan yi ge ren... zhai xue xiao shi shuai ren yao peng yao de pei pan dan wu ze yang xin zhong hai shi you xu dou de shi lou... wu hao xiang ba zhe zhong kan jue shuo zui lai dan zai meh shuo neh wu bu zhi dao... peng you zhong shi kao shu wu shuo wu ren heng hao ke shi wu xiang shi yin wei ta meng duo bu liao jie wu ba... wu shi ge zhi si zhi le de lan ren... wu ye hao xiang xiang da jia shuo shou de yi yang dan wo bu shi ar... zhi ji wei zhuang hao ying wei hai bu bei shang hai... you shui neng zhen zheng ming bei ne...
shou zhen de... dan wu ting dao hao you shou mei tian kan dao wu hui jue de yan fan shi xin zhong you dian shuang xin... bu guo ye bu neng kuai la fan zhen neng shuo den liao wu de wu shi gen ban mai you yi ge... yi ge ru zi bu wan mei de wu neng dui pian ren shou de hua zhou zhu shi meh ne...
dui bu qi wo wu fan ran wu de hao you mei tain duo kai huan da xiao... wu mei you fan fa ren ni meng hui ying wei wu re jiao yao... wu hao shi pai ba... dui bu qi zhen de wo wu neng wei li... wo yi jin yin wei bu ting de chang shi er jue de hao lei le... wo xiang dui ni meng hao ke shi wo zhen de mei you fan zi le... ni meng neng liang jie mah?

wu xi wang de dao liang jie... xi wang you ren neng ming bei wu de xiang fa rang wu neng mang mang de da kai wu xin zhong de jie... wu ye hao xiang xiang da jia yi yang mei tain duo fa zhi nai xin de xiao... wu hao xiang orh...
hui you na meh yi tian ma?

No man is an island

2004-08-01T21:18:00.000+08:00

I louve tis song which i used to sing in choir...

I dun noe wat i m now... i juz noe tt i m becoming like more mean le... but i juz too tired to care too much... sorri to anyone whom i had hurt... i juz cnt cope wif anymore stuff le... i m happi wif wat i already had my friends n family... i dun like changes though der are always changes in life...ya tt's y my gang de pple always say i stubborn n i had to agree too:P

Todae had my 2.4km nafa test... i m happi tt i passed... though after tt my head rrly pain n muscle ache too... but nvm small case la... hee... i love ranning can think let my mind anyhow ran oso... juz now while i ran i think of my friends... they juz gave me de motivation too keep goin on... n i make it... phew... then the same old thing we go thr every fri lo...
After sch eat chicken rice again... haha... onli food which can make it in tpjc... then went to find mum n dad came we go temple... n we went to configure my lap top again... tt man was rrly gd to help out... when i reach da yi hse i was almost half death... veri tired arh...

Saturday
Meet jie yin to have breakfast at Bedok market... haha fianlly make my promise cum true le... now left wif jen jen de lor mee at telok blagah...
Den off we when to Boon Keng... Haiz a bit sian der... den de GOH is Ms Elim Chew director of 77th street... so pro arh her... muz learn from her... she taught us to grab hold of every opportunity we have... ya she is rite... i guess... den we did le reach de dance wif our pyjamas on... haha... da food for reception is nice... but too bad la i cnt eat... den waited for my dad to fetch... intially i tot tt by sendin jia home ll save her time but hor end up wasting her time... veri pai seh to her... finally on da way home lo... i wanted to take a short nap in da car but my dad keep tokin abt his long n tough journey to find us... so da first thing i do when i reach home us to eat bath n my dreams...zzzz

Sunday
Woke up at 7 plus... slp at 10 y'dae... did my bio de tutorial on mitosis n meiosis... n copy le sum answer... den oso did le chem tutorial... wheez a great achievement... den slept for 4hr... n watch tv... ya n here i m now...

I m lookin forward to thurs da cartoon i waitin to be shown on tv... haha...

Ya muz do gp essay le... sigh... god y i carn be born as a kantan... hee...ya my english is lousy...

Love you

2004-07-27T21:13:00.000+08:00

Pple are like different pple from diff world... we nid to take one step each so tt we can slowly enter each other world so that we can understand each other better... but taking each step is tough n tiring... sumtimes u juz feel like u wan to give up the long jorney of entering of other's world... but u have to try since u have already start the first step... mutual understanding is a complicated n difficult thing... many of us take a long time to do so... but i juz wan to try... i wan to understand wat others is thinking... i wan to help dem out when dey nid it... i wan to reach out for dem even dey refuse to let out themselves... i will try... i will... even though it may hurt myself but it's alright... rrly... hurt wont be pain if de outcome is gd:)

Cherish those u love cos u dun noe when dey will leave u... say u love dem... a simple 3 words can make sumone's dae... n u nv noe if tt pharse will be the last thing u say to sumone u love... y'dae a student from tpjc passed away becos of cancer... although i nv noe him but was a bit sad when knowing tis news... sigh... life is rrly short... may be when u r gone is already destinated when u r born ba... i dun wan any of de pple i love n noe to go le i cnt stand it i will collaspe rrly... if i can i will try to save dem from the cruel reality... but can i?

todae everyhting turn out fine in sch at least for me... n i dun wan to think too much le... juz let everything move as it is... haha...i think i rrly physically 'disabled' cos my pull up i onli did 4... nvm juz aim to pass... n i did it... jen jen took her passsport size foto... she rrly look gd in sum way but she always sae she's ugly... eh nid to help tis ger gain confident...

Incomplete

2004-07-24T05:55:00.000+08:00

Saturday
Hee was so happi y'dae... finally gt to meet up wif all my gang de pple(except zhi yi) and my classmates again le...wheez... it had been the dae i m lookin forward since i noe da date of mjr speech dae...
thx to jia, benny n louisa, i gt to eat durain at the rd side... my dreams finally came true:)
in sch we clapped veri hard when our gd friend yuni n pple from my class gt their prize... den we even stand up... but hor kana scold my chers... those pple who are late were ban to enter de sch den poor thing dey waited outside de sch... when everything finish le we meet dem n we left for Changi Airport T2 where we get our food n when to da viewing mall der to tok crap... haha...

everyone has grown le... now we have different things that we are stress about le... no longer de students who always roam around shoppin malls after sch... time rrly passes fast thinkin of the time where we were all busy preparing for exams n da daes where we tok a lot in class... haha... wat now... we grow up le... gd or bad? may be grow up will make us more mature... but tt will oso means tt we ll have to think more abt a thing... funny thing is when we were young we hope to grow up the faster the better... but as we grow up, we feel tt may be growing up is nt as fun as wat we always tot of... may be it is all the stress tt make up use wan to resume as child ba... haha...

todae gt my bio spa... a bit screw up la... but oso cn do nthing le since its all over... haha... after tt went jia hse study... den nid to go take things to ah ma hse tml lo... promise da yi to go her hse after tt. but as i lay on the floor i slpet til da next mornin den i realise tt i m at home... opps

Sunday
Today is my great ah ma n grand pa de death annivery. kind of happi cos gt to c my 2 gors n mei n di... wheez... at ah ma hse we played magic tricks n my gor was sooo kind to teach me of those silly tricks... haha... den oso went to xiao yi's hse do pw... de com dun like me den break down... i was goin crazy le... ya den i almost cried too... i hate com sumtimes when dey always nv fail to give up on me when i needed dem so much... so in de end i went home w/out anything done... veri stress n down... den my gor called he said he will be bringing his lap top down to save me... so sweet of him... n in the end my 2gors all came le... luv dem lots... i did my pw til late night den cnt tahan le so juz doze off in my study rm...

Monday
Sumthing bad the first thing i do when i wake up was i found myself bursting into tears... too tired i supposed... den juz drag myself to sch wif all da incomplete pw stuff... sigh... i think i m a lousy gp member... sorri tt i m in da gp... i din actualli do any contribution to the project much... in sch everything was fine... da same old thign we went thr every mon... den jia finally make up her mind to return to db... which wsa sumhow gd for her... but on da other hand leh de poor ger will suffer from muscle ache again n ll become dark again... take care ger...
at 5.30 where my parents suppose to pick me up, my da yi called she said she is wif my xiao yi n dey r at sim lim sq walkin towards funnan mall... but dey r lost... da 2 were lookin at lap top for me n wan me to buy one todae... cos dey say my com make me until veri stress n dey dun wan to c me in such state... i was so touch tt i m lost of words to say... thx... ya i brought le one lap top for 2990 bucks... n i have to pay instalment to my mum... ai ya another debt to pay... sianz...

E.F.I.L...

2004-07-18T21:24:00.000+08:00

You have to search for a reason to live yourself. You need to discover it yourself. Because there is no one who arrives in this world with a purpose. We just simply live here. Beause everyone needs to make their own discovery. The reason to be born. The reason to be there. The reason to exist. We have to find it ourself. We have to search for a meaning in life. Though in the process you may become lost. But we will find it one dae. May be you n i live for the sake of each other:)It is alright if we take a longer time to find. Because being slow is also evidence of living life...

After y'dae lookin thr da fotos wif jia,i suddenly gt a lot of things i wish to tell my friends no matter they can hear it a not... Thx for being part of my life i do cherish you dears... n to jia... hey ger u noe wat i rrly thx u for always bein der for me... n thr u i find my reason to live n i ll live up to one thousand yrs so be prepared to be fan si my me orh... but hor pai seh sumthings like a bit short circuit... but tell u orh luu u lots...n to xin... i noe its hard for you to be handling to stress now but hang on der... you taught me nt to give up de so muz do da same... xingxing wateva u do i support u orh... n to sam... i miss ur singing a lot orh... n oso ur laughter which nv fails to influence me to laugh too... n to Chun... dun be dai dai der le la learn to bring more pens to sch la... den hor dun be so blur liao orh... n to ah yi... long time nv she her le wonder how is she now... now her tokin crap abt her harry potter... n also times where she used to knock my head n tell n y u so tut... n to yu ni... i miss da days where she stay over at my hse n we gossip all thr da nite... n da way u scold me beng dan when i cant even do simple maths quest... haha... luv dem so much.... n da gd news is we ll be seeing each other on fri... bet jia now oso lookin forward to fri...

I thx god or guan yin ma for giving me a nice home n so many dear friends... i found my reason of life le... i came to this world as a blank paper to allow pple to color it wif different colors... sum painted it black sum painted it red... watave da color is... this colors complete da picture... i also want to add colors to other's life to my friends, my family members, to anyone who i noe... i want to let them be happi... i want to help dem find their purpose of life too... i want to life dem noe i rrly want dem to be happi n free from trouble... i want... da purpose of my life is to love pple... though dey may be pple who ll nt return but i m sure der are those who cherish it n dey r my dears jie mei le...

haha... so relieve now after typin out my tots... may be jia is rite abt tis programme allow pple to type out thier tots...

i simply love wat i m goin thr now le... i think i m such a genius... juz one afternoon for abt 4h i can arrange my tots n clear all my troubles which had been wif me for mths... hahaha... lalala... lololo...

i have found my reason to live le... n de reasons is u guys... u guys have make my dae:D

Simple

2004-07-11T19:17:00.000+08:00

Juz came back from my aunts hse... haiz i hate sundae cos da arrival of it means tt i m goin to sch again tml... sigh... i rrly hate it...finally understand y there's so many pple always sayin it n i totally agree wif dem sch sucks n so does life... opps first time sayin tis word but i feel tt it is da most appropriate word to describe... hee... guess i rrly had a [A]ttitude [P]roblem... mr tan is rite i guess...

Y'dae had my listenin compre n after tt i had to ran out of sch juz to avoid ppple... ha den poor jia had to ran wif me... after tt when home le veri shuang slp for 2h b4 goin out again to meet 2aunties... we were seatin in IMM der de Long John for like 4h though our food had finish 3h ago... den were gossipin abt pple... dey even thinkin of goin on tour tis nov... i had to stop dem cos i currently declare broke n i dun wan dem to go w/out me... ha... den for evey place dey say i will try to predict sum stupid unfortunate things which might happen der... eg. for taiwan is riots. Europe is mad cow disease. China der is SARs.etc dey keep sayin choy... ha... den finally dey wanted to go for dinner n we move to Four leaves de cafe der... rrly feel like an idiot when i ve to help one of my aunty to use da coffee maker... first time usin tt alien machine... ha but manage to handle it w/out spoilin it... n again we sit der for another 3h.. tokin abt how teeth muz be protected if nt wat is de latest technology for toothless... all of da methods sound so pain... ouch... i muz take gd care of my teeth from todae onwards...
finally at 9 plus dey realise da time is late n we make a move home... when i reach home i was veri veri da tired... after changing us lay on bed...
den watch a korean show... da last present... de story is abt a couple... de wife is goin to die soon but she still dun wan her husband to noe abt her illness. she was tryin her best to help her husband who was a comedian to find a show in tv... both of dem lov each other veri much but dey juz dun wan to tell each other... upon knowin her wife's illness de husband was depressed... but he noe he ve to do sumthing for her... so he wrote down de names of his wife's pri classmate n ask his friend to help findin tis pple... da guy was so stupid tt he din even notice amg de names there was oso his name... the name of his wife's first luv... it was him... he onli noe abt it when his wife was leavin... but its too late... da last present he gave to his wife was his show... so sad... i ve learn sumthing for it... love those around u more... cos u nv noe when dey ll leave u... may be tis can oso be my last time bloggin... but wherever i go those i luv n cherish ll always be in my heart...

Todae wake up at 8.30... cos too cold le even when onli da fan is on... start doin my hw... den my aunt was sayin tt my eng fail again muz practise more... i was born to fail in my eng no choice la... tis kind of thing can onli depend on luck... den i lay on bad to do genetic de mcq... ya do sumthing great todae... watch a tamil de moive... de actor n actoress both look so nice... dem their song is so nice... beginin to like indian de things le... den when back to study but half de time my mind was thinkin abt my granduncle de grandson which can oso say is my cousin... he jump down from where he live bcos of stress... but luckily he survived... haiz poor thing... i m afraid ll i be da same... sound stpid but rrly we cant predict anything de... my dad came n pick me up n i din speak a word wif him as usual... is nt i dun wan is tt everything when we tok we ll qurrel so muz as well dun speak rite...

Learn sumthing new from de tamil movie LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL... but i cant convience myself to believe in tt... i hate life n i wanted it to end soon... but cnt i muz make others' life meaningful n happi first... sumtimes i rrly hope i ve a lot siblings... one big brother n one big sister den oso one younger brother n one younger sister... like tt i can tok to sum1 when i rrly feelin depress which is wat i feelin down... i juz wan to find sum1 to tok to...

May be life isnt tt bad???

2004-07-07T22:02:00.000+08:00

Haiz another dae passed... juz like how rain is form from rain to vapour den back to rain... but y da stupid de me muz think until so much leh... hee i dun noe... i wan to be happi n i m tryin veri hard... cos i dun wan pple around me to be worry... da onli pro is how leh... ai ya nvm slowly i ll find a way i guess... sigh... muz sae sorri to a lot of pple arh... cos of my siao siao de attitude like cos a lot trouble le...

ya todae gt my SPA but hor da calculation dun noe la... as usual... sleepy but still muz do pw la... veri jian to my pw gp nv bring anything nt becos i forget it becos i nv do... but i dun like doin... grumble oso no use... who like doin leh? sigh...ya plus todae i cired again... stupid la cos my mind rrly cnt tahan le...i dun like i dun wan... but think again dun wan dun like oso can do nthing mah...haiz since da dae sch rryl starts i rrly like a bit siao liao... esp in here... waste so much of tears...den hor still gt a man who is a civi servent came n tok for more dan 1h... sianz...

from todae onwards muz tell myself tis:
1)tears is precious gift cnt waste
2)muz be happi
3)dun think too much
4)2yrs veri fast pass de

haha... i m happi. i m happi. i m happi i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m
happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m
happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m happi. i m
happi....

for da last time i will say tis i m sad but i have da choice too to make myself happi...
one dae i ll smile rite from da bottom of my heart de... one dae one fine dae...

Lost in da City

2004-07-04T22:21:00.000+08:00

Who are you? Where are you from? What are you doin here? Why are you living on when there are so many pple in tis world sufferin?
This is all the quest which keep pesterin me all tis daes... anyone ever noe da answer to tis? i m veri tired of tryin my best to search for it already... tt's y i force myself to slp da whole dae from 12 to 4... sounds like i m so idiot... but slpin seems to be the onli way tt i can find of to ran away from things i dun wan to face to noe... on tues had to start sch again... i rrly hate it... not becos i dun like to study but i juz hate to face all the truth again... life is so stupid... every dae like doin da same old thing n we cnt do anything to change tis trend... sound so useless arh...

y'dae when to vjc to learn how to dance... haha muz say tt i rrly veri bad at dancin... den when to East coast park der... long time nv been der le since the last time which 4E had our bbq... eh i rrly misses dem a lot... hope all of dem r doin well now... wif jia n yin we seat n crap abt a lot of things... i rmb ecp was da place where i had my first bbq wif my class 2f 3yrs ago... tt time dey ate uncook wings n most of dem gt stomach... lucky me din stay long cos is my ahma b'dae... haha... heng... after tt when to bugis to c bag but hor.. waste time cos nv c anything... but gt to eat kuay chap... den bring back da memory of my bro again when we ate da wan tan mee n he go complaining to da aunty abt the price bein so ex yet so little noodle... haha he so stupid... but how oso no1 to laugh at le since he is gone n nv be back le...eh the dumbest i did was i din c clearly da bus i was supose to take 960 n i took 980 instead.. den i shuang shuang seat on da bus... although i find da route veri funny but i was stupid enough to console myself tt da bus has change route... i feel weird when i was da onli female on bus... den i c around it was so dark... i too scare to stay on bus liao so drop off at yishun der where sum HDB can be seen... den walk to find a bus goin to woodlands i was damn happi n grateful... haha...when i finally reach home was like half death le... so faster go bath n drop to bed lo...

last wk had all my test.. was like cnt make it le... all dun noe how to do... but hor da paper was all ok de except for chem where jen jen say is 's' paper... haiz.. a bit regret tt i nv study for bio... opps... da essay quest was veri easy... one can simply score if gt memorise... but i was too tired to study anything... how... haiz... rrly cnt survive in jc le...

now veri full... cos juz now been to changi village to eat sting ray... haha waited for almost a mth le... veri hyper now cos later gt euro cup to watch... bet wif my dad 50 bucks so scare... portrugal cnt loss arh if nt i die le... haha... greece was a strong team but i nt happi it winning france n da dun noe wat republic de... de name veri
chaim... finally completed my di's de prezzie le... but i wonder ll he ever use it... haha it was veri sissy...

i was prayin everydae tt i was knock down by sumthing den i can lost my memory of a lot of things... den may be at tt time i ll be da happiest person again... if u ask me now am i happi i ll say out loud tt i m nt... i dun noe wat i m doin everydae... it was like a veri systematic routine which i had to complete... i hate tis world... i hate being useless n yet still carryin on living... haiz... if i can choose i ll ran away ran to a veri veri far place... to a place where i dun noe any1 where i can be de person i wan myself to be... may be at tt time i ll be a much happier person... but da thing is i ll miss da pple i luv... so before tt i muz loss my memory first... think too much le... but tt's da way i wan to live...

Can this ever happen?

Blue ocean

2004-06-20T21:29:00.000+08:00

haha next wk goin to ve exam le... yet now leh at my cousin playin den she seat beside me c... hee...
few daes ago juz came beack from korea... der rrly fun everyday eat zi cai... jia muz be jealous... den arh i bring a wallet wif my gang foto in it show it to my cousin daily den she say i siao... haha... sumthing i cnt stand her is she keep sayin jia is veri cute...lolx... nvm... besides tt i everyday slp in da bus cos tt guide der rrly ve a gd skill of hypotising... juz lke wat jen jen say abt mr toh...opps... a bit bad... ya we saw sumthing interesting der is korean pple can go on riot wif license... funny...
kk gtg tml den continue to blog...

The day before i leave

2004-06-07T09:38:00.000+08:00

yawnz juz wake up so shuang leh... finally gt one one day can slp til so late before i going for camp n goin on tour...

muz say abt last fri was so happi went out wif my gang orh... but hor a bit pai seh cos xin dun wan us to pay her den da bill was like veri de ex lo...anyway xin sam n chun all change le... dey become more mature le in look... den jia leh oso but is her thinking... opps me leh still de same so dai n childish... nvm i guess i ll oso grow up one dae de... hehe...

den sat leh meet mad,li yen n hui li for breadfast n do pw... den blur blur de hui li din realise we gt pw until mad called... she rushed here but when she cum we were abt to go le... poor ger c her so tired like tt... ya found out a veri shen qi de thing... hui li's father n relatives r from netherlands but dey r chinese la...den her father give up da citizenship der for becumin a singapore... so cool hor... todae's maths lecture my mr chow which head like bird nest de... opps so mean...butwat he teach i rrly dun noe lo... but hor he oso veri poor thing la pple shout at him durin lecture leh so rude... after tt when to buy bubble tea n waffle for those doin pw... wif xiao ying pei... she so gd orh...den leh i sit n wait for jia to finsh her pw so tt we can go buy jie yin's prezzie... while waitin was tokin crap wif dai jing n xiao ying i said tt i wrote de chinese version of twinkle twinkle little star n dai jing was english composer... haha... we both so dai no wonder she is my vice president for my company...when i reach home i cnt move arh my whole body was aching... den gt to c my cartoon... slp a while den a old lady called who was our tour leader... tok wif her for veri long... she took my slpiness away...den jia said da channel 5 de movie veri nice so i lay on bed n watch... i like de mouse n granny... da witches de laugh sounds veri funny...

sun leh i watch my favourite cartoon... a gd start for tis wk... but hor as i start to study... i find tt i dun ve time to pack my things le... being too stress i cnt study anymore so juz sit in fornt of tv den my aunt say i like dying de look... den i smile back say it is a gd time to die... den hor she scold la say dun anyhow tok... hehe...tonight gt harry potter but cnt watch muz pei mum go out buy things... when reach home is abt 10 le... started to pack my camp stuff n travel stuff my house was veri messy... finally can sit down to do my bio tutorial le... den slp lo... hee

now a bit hungry haven eat my breadfast yet... cos mornin mad msg me say she wan de survey quest den muz send to her lo... later as i step out of my hse i ll have to start my wk le... haiz...
muz wish jia gd luck for her db competition finally she dun nid get bruises on herself le... haha
den muz oso pray for mui hai hope everything ll go on smoothly...

Like tt den call life

2004-06-03T16:02:00.000+08:00

todae veri shuang can cum home so early... initially plan to slp de but hor mum called all my slpiness gone le... haiz sad... y'dae nite arh veri scare cos alone at home den on all da lights n on cd to da loudest... veri stuipd rite but no choice la i sumtimes veri timid oso duno y... juz now go libray borrow one chinese story bk... rrly veri long time nv read le... a bit shoik...heee...now having a cup of curry noodles veri full le tt's y oso feel veri slpy le... opps so piggy... no choice pigs r cute... ya veri happi cos my doraemon de bedsheet on de ship will be arriving at mid jun le... yipee... yawnz cnt take it le me goin orh orh lo... hee

This world is like tt no why

2004-05-31T20:28:00.000+08:00

Juz came back after listening my aunt n her tok... tired le but still nid to do interact da thing... juz now lor dey called say dey wan start dun noe wat business den wan my papa n mama n me go c da place cos its at causeway pt ma... den go der c place le we ended up at food court eat n tok but i juz seat der n listen juz like wat i always did cos not veri familiar wif dem... my uncle keep tokin abt LKY which make me suddenly feel tt tis man is rrly scary... haha... but veri sian la n tired... for abt 2h he tok non stop abt tt great man n his life story... den he say abt one of my cousin which of my age de wif a bf... den duno y suddenly dey ask me if i could one... pls lor which guy would be so tut as to wan me... opps... i was like veri tired n cnt make it le...luckily n dad c me almost fall asleep den say tt we mid to go... hee thx to him:D
Today was da first time of my life rowing a dragonboat... rrly fun orh... muz thx mr ong cos he help us thr da race... although my class came in last which was expected but nvm la at least we tried le... den poor jia was like whole body gt pain like tt cos of her db trainin lo...
I waited for almost 2h for my dad to fatec me home from kallang... but the first thing i noe when i go inside da car is my elder granduncle has passed away... i was rrly sad cos last time when i was young i every wk go his hse play playground den he ll buy coke for me... but like so fast he... haiz... wonderin y every1 around me like slowly goin away liao... i rrly scare tt one dae i ll be alone in tis world... y not take away my life instead of pple i luv de... y not juz let me born as an orphan den i can dun nid worry n be sad for any1 who left me le... if growin means have to take all kinds of pain y cant i juz be a kid or a dai dai who duno abt anything may be i ll be happier... now i even afraid to slp cos i scare tt tml when i wake up one of my luv one ll leave me again... how am i goin to face tml when ders' so many uncertain waitin for me?
ya after da db my parents bring me to temple to pray... hope no1 will be as unlucky as me...
i think my parents dun wan me to think too much so dey bring me to food fest to eat... brought a lot of food der orh...
ya most imptly todae morin i went to mjr der da market but hor close arh... den my dad keep sayin waste his 5 bucks on ERP as if is my fault tt da market close...
todae also is chinese o level... hopefully every1 i noe can make it thr... woa so fast last yr tis time i oso takin... time rrly files...
haiz...

Retared me:P

2004-05-25T18:44:00.000+08:00

Haiz last time actully gt one blog de but hor forget de add le so ve to create again lor. a bit ma fan le but it's fun leh:D today a bit blur la. juz now when goin for chinese lesson jia jen n yin are walkin straight but hor me tot dey when down le so follow dem it de end too blur dey are all upstairs lo. opps. not my fault la i guess cos i rrly think dey r walkin in fort of me. haha. we are discussing who ll be goin wif who for dragon boat tml. yeah tml my first time goin for dragon boat lookin forward to it orh. but hor i think i rrly cnt make it cos i dun ve da strength to row da paddle. i guess jen was rrly angry wif me leh cos hor our gang gt 5 pple den of course gt one odd de ma so i go wif other pple lo. den nicloe veri gd wan pei me. but hui li n li yen left le. i dun mind any of dem. den hui li lke dun wan wif li yen lke tt so i say i go wif her lo. den nicloe wif hui li i wif li yen. but jen jen say i cnt be so gd to change de partnerin thing. i dun noe la so ma fan y cnt juz let me go alone la. a bit pai seh to her oso la she so gd to think of me but i lke tt. sumtimes i rrly hate myself leh dun noe wat i ve in mind de. no wonder i founded dai dai company.haha. eh den jia leh todae arh she veri tired oso dun noe y she everytime like tt leh. but is gd tt she so tired cos she wake up at 4.30 to study:)she rryl grow up le... which make me feel i veri childish leh. but i think i ll catch up soon de. yin leh she todae a bit hot arh.cos of li yan lo. rrly dun noe y nowadays arh gt so many friendship thingy to handle de... many things can be veri easy mah juz dun bother too much tt's wat i ve learn which i think is a great achievment... yipee... ya most impt thing todae arh mdm twu say cher complain to her tt we tok durin assembly... haha... break another rule le.. muz change cnt smile smile durin serious de occasion... i oso feel tt i a bit talkative... so leh muz change lo.. k back to de stupid friend thing jen n yin cum out wif a funny plan la to seperate jia for yan... haiz i dun wan to bother abt it la.. although i sumtimes agree wif dem but no1 is perfect la... muz c her at another perspect still find she nt bad...o ya juz now saw mad's stead he rrly look like jia de gymnast leh... den i brought le my first bk of fruit basket although it's de 3rd bk le... but i call gor help me find da first 2 le... haha muz go do hw n study le many things to do arh... sianz...